fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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