we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
