my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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