I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
