atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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