I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize