I seem to have left my pride at pride
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
