sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
