there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
