Where is the hickey?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
