Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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