no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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