how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
