he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
