I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
