My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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