is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have surprise drugs for everyone
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
