Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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