Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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