i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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