I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
