she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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