my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
