"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
