in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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