yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize