My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
