jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
