I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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