So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
