My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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