i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
As shirtless as possible
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
BRING THE BAGELS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize