I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
