I think im going to throw up on grandma
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
