K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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