Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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