there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
