You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
