she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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