What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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