I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this will be a night to untag.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
