I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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