Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
