We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
