Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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