Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize