Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
