I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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