i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
