Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
