Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
