Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
