i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
