elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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