We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
