My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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