I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
