I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
