Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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