She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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