Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
