quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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