I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
